N: I miss Mommy.
O: N., it's not like we left Mommy at the kennel.
In the car at the post office:
O: Does Jesus have a last name?
N: Yes, O. it's Christ. You know. They call him Jesus Christ.
(At least they don't know his middle initial, H.!)
N., every time she lies to me: "I'm serious. Really. I'm serious."
N., describing something very big: "It's Jew-normous!"
O. trying to express his disinterest/unconcern with a problem: "It doesn't care."
N., setting up yet another princess scenario: "I have a splendid idea!"
Praying before dinner, N. makes a funny face and says nonsense words instead of the prayer.
Me: N., you can't act silly while you're praying.
O: Yeah, N. God will turn you into a chicken.
O., after yet another warning against the use of potty language:
"But God just made us like that, to think pee and poop and toots are funny."
O., chasing his sister around with a pretend sword:
"Booshay, Pussy Cat!"
(I immediately knew there had been a little too much Tom and Jerry)
O., threatening me with the nozzle of the kitchen sink:
"Get ready for a dramatic spray!"
Getting into the car, O. kicks his brother's car seat, waking him up.
O: Don't worry, he's sleeping again.
Me: No thanks to you.
(A minute or so passes.)
O: Mom, thanks for taking us to your friend's house to visit.
Me: You're welcome, bud. That was nice of you to say.
O: (whispering to himself) Okay, good. I didn't want to be down to zero thanks.
O. complains after a haircut that his back is all itchy. I tell him it's all the hairs that fell down there bothering him and that we'll change when we get home.
O: "What? You mean I have touch buds all over my back?"
N, whispering after climbing into bed with me:
"Are wolves dunna eat us?"
Playing animal families :
N: I am a panda and I am going to lay my eggs right here.
O: Pandas don't lay eggs. They are mammals, so they poop the babies out.
O. tells me he is going to take a nap (cue the halleluiah chorus!) then returns a very short while later.
Me: That was a short one. How long did that last?
O: Three minutes.
Me: Oh, you had a timer, did you?
O: Pocket watch.