Thursday, November 3, 2011

30 Days of Gratitude: an attempt.

This week, I've come across several posts on Facebook that are following a 30 Days of Gratitude theme. I like this idea. I've been struggling a bit lately on the positivity front, as well as finding ways to live more fully in the moment. So, to that end, I think I'll attempt a month of gratitude here at the Small World.

What was the quote that I came across on Pinterest recently? "What if tomorrow you woke up with only the things you thanked God for today?" Whoa.

I'm a little late, starting on day 3 of the month, but chances are the first three things to come to my mind would have been children 1, 2, and 3 in my life anyway. So we'll start here, on day three, and express my deep gratitude for all the members of my family, including the one who's been around the longest, my dear husband, J.

I won't say I didn't curse him a few times today, and wrestle mightily with the difficulties that his work schedule brings to our lives. He travels the most in the fall, and it makes for long dark evenings without him. As I think I put it to a friend not too long ago, "Fall is a marathon, and I think I'm only barely keeping pace." At this point in the season, I've slowed to a walk and have to give myself many many pep talks to keep moving at all.

It's not that I'm resentful. His job is what it is, and most days, it's one he enjoys. (Just as mine is one that I would choose above all others, even when it is at it's most frustrating.) He works hard and keeps our family as his most important priority. He doesn't get much time to himself either, except in lonely hotel rooms and airports.

When I'm cursing his absence at dinnertime, when all three kids are whining and/or crying, and the dog has just pooped in the middle of the kitchen again, partly it's because I want another adult there. Another grown up who can help me figure out if the reason that my six and a half year old is crying because he can't decide if he wants butter or red sauce on his noodles is that he's truly still sick, or is just generally tired and disagreeable. Another adult to supervise teeth brushing and to empty the dishwasher.

But mostly, I just really miss HIM.

Separately, each of the kids that can talk in this house have told me about 'daddy moments' they have shared with him in the last few days.

O., whispered in my ear so N. couldn't hear while we were reading books in my bed, "Daddy has a bag of chocolate on his dresser. It is SOO yummy."

N., her own eyes sparkling, tells me that "Yesterday morning, Daddy carried me out in the driveway and showed me the all the stars in the sky. They were so beautiful and sparkly!"

That's who I want to be around to help me clean up the floor five times in an hour, to read the paper with in the morning, and to fall asleep next to on the couch while watching the Next Top Chef.

That guy is who I'm grateful for, today.


mep said...

I can't believe I didn't see this beautiful post until tonight. Where have I been? I'm so happy you have J. in your life and am in awe of your marathon pace in the fall and throughout the year. I don't have as many partner-less days and nights as you, but I have enough to know how HARD it can be. You rock and so does J.

Stacia said...

Any daddy who keeps a bag of chocolate in his dresser is a keeper, no doubt. Keep run-walking that marathon, and hang in there!

Tricia @ Take 10 With Tricia said...

Loved this personal post, thanks for sharing.